Last Updated:
June 13th, 2024
When we think of the past, we often look back fondly. Memories appear more colourful, clearer. This means that, generally, we are quite wistful about the past. But not all memories are positive. It is possible, over time, for certain experiences to become ameliorated – we may privilege the positive aspects and forget the negatives. It’s like looking at the past through rose-tinted glasses. Whilst this may be a nice way to live in some respects, in the context of alcohol recovery, this type of thinking can be quite dangerous.
In alcohol rehab, we call this drinking nostalgia. This desire or yearning for our past experiences with drinking can have a tangible effect on our well-being and also risk our long-term recovery. So, what’s the difference between drinking nostalgia and a realistic reflection on the past? What can we do to resist the pull of alcohol during drinking nostalgia and further distance ourselves from this kind of thinking?
What is drinking nostalgia?
Drinking nostalgia happens when we start to romanticise or reminisce on our memories of alcohol in an unbalanced way. You might think about the rush of good feelings and the company, the party energy or the carefree feeling of drinking with friends. Drinking nostalgia is very common in alcohol addiction treatment. However, it is important to be aware that indulging in this nostalgia can lead towards cravings, preoccupation, and even relapse.
Triggers for drinking nostalgia
Drinking nostalgia may crop up at any point during the recovery process, including during alcohol withdrawal. A preoccupation and dependency on drinking defines alcohol addiction. Naturally, then, at some stage, those feelings will resurface. The important thing is not to judge yourself if you start feeling nostalgic for alcohol but rather how you respond to these memories.
There may be some situations that are more likely to unearth drinking nostalgia than others. These include:
- When looking back on photos or videos
- When around alcohol or in an alcohol-heavy setting
- When around old ‘drinking partners’
- When listening to music or watching films, you associate with previous drinking
- When seeing others enjoying themselves whilst drinking
- When feeling stressed or challenged in daily life
- Feeling lonely or isolated
- Believing you have ‘fully recovered’ and can drink without issue
- Tension in relationships
- Tension at work
Realistic reflection or drinking nostalgia?
One of the best ways to demystify drinking nostalgia is to assess the reality of the memory. It can be easy to look backwards and think of the positives, especially when we feel more distanced from the negative sides of drinking. This means it is helpful to think about what drinking heavily was actually like. Was the memory all positive, or are we idealising something that actually brought us significant harm? Can we think about our drinking history more objectively? One way we may want to do this is by thinking of our reasons for recovery. If drinking were all positive, we wouldn’t have sought alcohol help. Trying to bring back balance and think of the bigger picture can make drinking nostalgia feel less enchanting. This can, therefore, make it less tempting to return to alcohol.
Drinking nostalgia: The risks
Drinking nostalgia is a dangerous thought pattern for individuals with a history of alcohol addiction. It can be distracting and act to lure us back to a cycle of behaviour that we have tried very hard to break out of. This has a number of risks, including:
- Leading to ‘just one drink’
- Re-learning thought and behaviour patterns previously challenged in therapy
- Feelings of failure
- Socialising in places or situations that may be triggering or dangerous
- Drinking patterns re-emerge and become more frequent and heavy
- The negatives of drinking suddenly appear more tolerable than the negatives of sober life
- Feelings of denial creep in
All of these experiences can be very overwhelming. Drinking nostalgia can then quickly lead us back down the path of risky drinking. This can lead to relapse and the potential need to return to addiction treatment in the future.
How to manage drinking nostalgia
If drinking nostalgia can be so tempting, then how do we resist it? There are some ways to manage drinking nostalgia tangibly. These can be practical things you incorporate into your life, such as:
- Writing a list of the negative side of drinking
- Think about how alcohol has affected your health
- Create new memories without alcohol present
- Engage in a new hobby
- Remember that memories are not accurate reflections of reality
- Try not to ignore the memories – instead, try and challenge them
- Be kind to yourself in periods of drinking nostalgia
- Remember that drinking nostalgia is a part of recovery, not a failure
- Speak to a sober friend or family member
- Create new social opportunities
For many people, drinking nostalgia comes from a place of isolation, stress, and reminiscence of what has come before. When you first stop drinking, it can be difficult to reconfigure your identity in this new sober landscape. One way you can tackle drinking nostalgia is by increasing sober social opportunities. You could try any of the following activities with friends:
- Going to the cinema
- Going for a walk
- Exercising
- Making a new meal together
- Hiking
- Camping
- Visiting amusement parts
- Going to the theatre or a museum
- Visiting a new place
- Creating art
- Learning how to bake
- Go on a spa day
- Learn a language
- Volunteer