According to the Children’s Commissioner for England, from 2019 to 2020, nearly half a million children lived with a parent battling addiction to alcohol or drugs. This page aims to guide these young individuals on how to find help for themselves and their parents, offering resources and understanding in dealing with such challenging circumstances. Together, we’ll explore supportive paths forward, ensuring no child feels alone in this journey.
How you might be feeling if you live with a parent struggling with addiction
If you have a parent struggling with addiction, it’s completely normal to experience a whirlwind of emotions, perhaps sadness, anger, worry and even guilt. You might often feel alone as if the world’s weight is on your shoulders, and it’s understandable to be scared about the uncertainties each day may hold. It’s tough when promises aren’t kept, and your frustration is completely justified.
Please know your feelings are valid and you’re definitely not alone in this journey. It’s okay and important to seek help and express what you’re going through. Caring for your emotional well-being is crucial and there are people who want to support and understand you.
Advice on what you can do if you live with a parent struggling with addiction
If your parents are struggling with a drug addiction or alcohol addiction, it can feel really overwhelming, but we want you to know that you’re not alone and you’re not powerless. This guide is here to offer you caring advice on how you can help your parents and take good care of yourself during this tough time. Remember, you have strength and support to help you through this.
For teens and older children:
Recognise that addiction is a disease, not a choice or a moral failing. This understanding can help reduce feelings of blame or responsibility for your parent’s behaviour. Educating yourself about the nature of addiction and its challenges can be empowering and enlightening.
For younger children:
Sometimes, grown-ups get very sick with something that makes them act differently than normal. It’s not your fault, and it’s not theirs either. They have an illness that needs a doctor’s help. If your school has a library, ask your teacher or librarian to help you find books about your parent’s illness.
For teens and older children:
It’s vital to have a support system. Talk to trusted adults like relatives, teachers or school counsellors who can provide emotional support and practical help. Joining support groups like Alateen can connect you with other people who understand what you’re going through.
For younger children:
Talking to someone like your teacher or a family friend can make you feel better. They can help you and listen to what you are feeling sad or worried about.
For teens and older children:
Learn to set boundaries with your parent. This can be very difficult but it’s important for your mental health. It’s okay to say no or to remove yourself from stressful situations when necessary.
For younger children:
If things at home make you scared or sad, it’s okay to go to your room or a safe place. You can also have a special word to tell an adult you trust when you need help.
For teens and older children:
Take time for yourself and engage in activities that help you relax and feel happy. Maintaining a routine, eating well, exercising and doing hobbies you enjoy are all important for your own well-being.
For younger children:
Do things that make you happy like playing, drawing or watching your favourite show. Remember to eat good food and rest well. It’s good for you!
For teens and older children:
Recognise that you can support your parent but you cannot cure their addiction. Encourage them to seek professional help but understand that the decision to get better is ultimately theirs.
For younger children:
Just like when someone needs a doctor when they’re very sick, your parents need special doctors to help them too. You can give them love but remember, doctors are there to help them get better.
For teens and older children:
Have a plan for situations that might become unsafe. This could include having the phone number of emergency services, a neighbour or a relative handy. Know where you can go if you need to leave the house suddenly.
For younger children:
If you ever feel really scared because of what’s happening at home, there’s always a safe place you can go to. Remember the phone number of a family member or a neighbour you can call.
For teens and older children:
Consider speaking with a therapist or counsellor. These professionals can help you navigate your feelings, offer coping strategies and provide a safe space to express yourself.
For younger children:
Talking to someone like a school counsellor can be really helpful. They are nice people who help you feel better when you’re sad or confused.
How rehab can help your parents
When a parent goes to a place that treats drug addiction or alcohol addictions, they can learn a lot about why it’s hard for them to stop using drugs or drinking too much. This place, called rehab, helps them understand why they feel the need to drink or use drugs and teaches them new ways to handle their problems without using these substances.
Going to addiction treatment rehab can make a big difference for your parent. It can make your home safer and more peaceful, help your parent feel healthier and happier and give you both a chance to improve your relationship. This means your parent can get better at taking care of themselves and you and you can have more fun and good times together.
What can you do next?
If you’re a teen or older and feel confident, you can try to contact rehab centres across the UK to find out more. If you don’t feel confident or if you’re younger than a teen, it’s a good idea to talk to a trusted adult or call a helpline to get the help you need.
(Click here to see works cited)
- “Parents with Alcohol and Drug Problems: Adult Treatment and Children and Family Services.” GOV.UK, www.gov.uk/government/publications/parents-with-alcohol-and-drug-problems-support-resources/parents-with-alcohol-and-drug-problems-guidance-for-adult-treatment-and-children-and-family-services. Accessed 24 Apr. 2024.
- “Teen Corner (Alateen) – al-Anon Family Groups.” Al, 11 Aug. 2023, al-anon.org/newcomers/teen-corner-alateen/.