How To Help An Alcoholic

When someone is dealing with an alcohol addiction, this often has a ripple effect, meaning that the lives of loved ones are also coloured by the presence of addiction. For many people, families, friends, and caregivers are a large part of recovery. From offering early support, providing honest reflection and prompting initial intervention, or even in helping maintain active recovery far after formal alcohol rehab ends. But, often, this process is not always easy. It can be easy to become overwhelmed and stressed. It can be hard to know the right thing to say, or how to maintain your life at the same time. Helping a loved one is a delicate balance between offering support and looking after yourself. We hope to provide some actionable steps and strategies to help you maintain this balance when addiction is present in the life of someone near to you.

Defining alcohol addiction

Alcohol addiction is a ‘chronic relapsing disorder associated with compulsive alcohol drinking, the loss of control over intake, and the emergence of a negative emotional state when alcohol is no longer available.’

At its core, alcohol addiction is about loss of control; it, therefore, has the power to impact all aspects of life, having physical, psychological and social effects.

Common symptoms of alcohol abuse

To help someone with an addiction, we first need to identify it. The following signs are common in individuals presenting with an alcohol problem. It is important to trust your instinct – if you think someone you know well is in need of alcohol help, it is likely that you are correct.

Physical signs

• Headaches
• Unexplained pains
• Lethargy
• Unpredictable peaks in energy
• Changes in sleep schedule
• Changes to appetite
• Feeling (or being) sick
• Difficulty maintaining temperature
• Sore or red eyes
• Blackouts

Psychological signs

• Appearing distracted
• Agitation
• Being quick to anger
• Appearing tearful or depressed
• Being anxious or paranoid
• Mood swings
• Memory impairment

Social signs

• Withdrawal
• Avoidance
• Missing work or school
• Reduced productivity and focus
• Concealing drinking
• Reduced attention to hygiene
• Conflict in relationships
• Financial issues

Having difficult conversations with your loved one

It is very difficult to see someone in our life experience alcohol addiction. This means that we may experience a range of uncomfortable thoughts, feelings and complicated emotions during this time. However, the cornerstone of any form of alcohol help is empathy – being able to listen, to make an effort to try to understand and to give space for the individual struggling to be able to speak freely about their situation without fear of judgement. You can practise empathy by doing what you can to create a safe and supportive environment. This could mean:

• Helping to remove triggers from the home
• Practising ‘active listening’ (eye contact, paying attention, showing you listening)
• Try to be supportive and sensitive in your approach – do not begin with criticism or insinuations
• Keep your tone of voice and body language warm
• Reiterate your concern and commitment to helping
• Ask questions one at a time; do not ‘interrogate’

Providing emotional Support

Addiction comes with a lot of complicated emotions. It can be difficult, at times, to unravel them and identify what feeling is present at any given moment. This means that providing space for emotional support can be a very valuable tool in helping someone struggling with alcohol. Emotional support is a way of showing that we care. Practical ways to do this include:

• Regularly check-in
• Offer reassurance
• Keep social contact
• Try not to make assumptions
• Provide opportunities to engage in hobbies and activities aligned with their interests
• Attend appointments with them
• Ask if there are specific tasks you can help with
• Be patient

Providing emotional support isn’t a one-size-fits-all process. Each person will experience their feelings in a different way, and that may mean that they have different needs. Taking the time to ask what the person in your life needs in order to feel supported can be a great way to ensure they feel listened to and your support is received gratefully.

Encouraging seeking professional support

64% of individuals accessing treatment for alcohol addiction in the year between 2020 and 2021 reported having a mental health need. Whilst offering emotional reassurance is a very helpful way of supporting someone with an alcohol addiction, sometimes this needs to be supplemented with more formal types of support. Professional addiction help can be found in many different forms, such as:

• Alcohol rehab
• Alcohol detox
• Support groups (such as Alcoholics Anonymous)
• Medically assisted treatment
• Therapy
• Engagement with primary care provider

In the depths of addiction, it can feel very lonely – and often, impossible to find your way out. By informing the individual in your life of the options available to them, you can potentially provide them with some hope in their ability to move forward. This can be especially useful if you are concerned for the safety of your loved one and believe that they are in need of physical or psychological intervention.

Set healthy boundaries

Research shows us that a strong support network can be a positive indicator of treatment outcomes, even suggesting that when family members are more involved, risk of relapse reduces. However, this does not mean that you should consistently put the wellbeing of others before yourself. Helping someone in active addiction can be very difficult and can lead to chronic stress, depression or burnout. This means that it is essential to take care of yourself along the way. One key method of doing this is by setting healthy boundaries. This includes establishing a set of clear expectations and consequences that not only protect your wellbeing but also model positive, proactive behaviour. Examples of boundaries include:

• No drugs or alcohol in the house
• No friends who abuse substances in the house
• No phone calls at certain times of the night
• Not lending money for drugs and alcohol
• Not ‘covering’ for your loved one’s behaviour
• Not allowing yourself to be coerced, shouted at, or made to feel uncomfortable
• Keeping time set aside for you

It can feel very tricky to set these. But doing so can be mutually beneficial in the long-term.

Alleviate burdens where possible

When we are supporting a loved one with an addiction, we can sometimes fall into the role of a care-giver. This can mean an increase in specific tasks, such as:

• Transportation
• Attending appointments
• Collecting medications
• Managing household chores
• Managing childcare

This can, understandably, become very draining. You may find setting boundaries around your availability to complete all of these tasks can be helpful. You can also allocate specific tasks to the individual you are supporting, such as asking them to clean dishes each day. This can be a helpful way of adding routine and maintaining a level of responsibility. You can also seek support by calling on your friends and family when and where needed.

Seeking support for yourself

No man is an island. Especially in the context of addiction, it can be very hard to manage alone. This may mean that you come to a stage where you need formal support yourself. You can seek advice and professional support from a range of places, such as:

• Therapy
• Support groups
• Guidance from a mentor
• Medication

If you believe you could or a loved one could benefit from alcohol addiction rehab or the programmes it offers, don’t hesitate to contact us today. Let us assist you in finding the perfect rehabilitation centre for your needs.