When we think of addiction, we typically focus on the thoughts, feelings and health of the person battling the dependency themselves. However, addictions have social impacts, as well as personal ones. We can think of addiction as like a ripple on water’s surface. Whilst the effects feel the strongest to the individuals dealing with addiction themselves, they can also be felt by the people around them. This means that having a loved one struggling with addiction can lead to two key experiences. Firstly, the desire to support your loved one wherever possible. Secondly, there is the need to support yourself during this difficult time.
Defining addiction
The International Classification of Diseases defines addiction as ‘a disorder in which alcohol – or psychoactive substance – induces changes of cognition, affect, personality or behaviour.’ This suggests that addictions are conditions that relate to a reliance or dependency on a specific addictive substance. However, in recent decades, there has been an ‘expanding [of] the definition of addiction’ also to include various behavioural addictions.
This means that an addiction does not always involve drugs or alcohol. So, if that is the case, then what defines addiction?
A more inclusive understanding of addiction suggests that addiction can occur wherever there are instances of:
- Engagement in behaviour to achieve specific effects
- Preoccupation with a behaviour
- Temporary relief after engaging in behaviour
- Loss of control around the behaviour
- Negative consequences associated with behaviour
- Different types of addiction
Put simply, an addiction occurs when an individual becomes physically or psychologically dependent on a specific object, activity or behaviour. This means that there are many different types of addiction. These can fit into two main categories:
- Substance use disorders
- Behavioural addictions
Substance use disorders encompass addictions to physical, consumable substances and include:
- Alcohol addiction
- Prescription drug addiction
- Illicit drug addiction
Behavioural addictions encompass a wide range of conditions, such as:
- Gambling addiction
- Sex addiction
- Porn addiction
- Love addiction
- Internet addiction
- Shopping addiction
- Video game addiction
- Plastic surgery addiction
- Exercise addiction
There are also specific behavioural addictions related to food, such as eating disorders. These include:
- Anorexia nervosa
- Avoidant or Restrictive Food Intake Disorder
- Bulimia nervosa
- Binge-eating disorder
- Night eating syndrome
- Purging disorder
- Rumination disorder
- Pica
Addiction symptoms
As addictions are such a broad category, it is not possible to give a fully exhaustive overview of all the symptoms that different individuals experience. However, several common areas are frequently affected in the context of addiction and, therefore, can be utilised as general signs an addiction is present. These include:
- Lying about behaviours
- Being secretive
- Reduced performance at work or school
- Social withdrawal
- Less engagement with loved ones
- Less interest in previous hobbies
- Attempting ( and struggling) to reduce engagement with addictive behaviour
- Reduced impulse control
- Taking risks
- Worsened mental health
- Poor sleep
- Changes in appetite
- Conflict in relationships
- Financial issues
- Paying less attention to personal care
- Appearing distracted
- Generally seeming ‘different’ or ‘off’
- Suicidal ideation
- Reduced sense of self-worth
- Difficulty making decisions
- Issues with memory
- Struggling to focus
There may also be physical markers of addiction. These include:
- General aches and pains
- Frequently appearing unwell
- Headaches
- Lowered immune system
- Damage to the liver
- High blood pressure
- Increased risk of cardiovascular events
- Appearing ‘hungover’
- Appearing very tired or lethargic
If several of these symptoms are present in a loved one, there is a chance that they are dealing with an addiction and would benefit from appropriate intervention.
Helping a loved one
It can be hard to know how to support a loved one in addiction recovery. Addiction brings a lot of complicated feelings to the surface, both for the individual struggling and those around them. It can be hard to know how to manage these. Even with the best of intentions, a lot of people are not certain of the best ways of supporting their loved ones in addiction treatment – it can feel quite daunting. However, there are three key areas where you can help your loved one. These are:
- Communication
- Setting boundaries
- Professional support
Communication
In addiction – as is the case with any form of distress – communication is key. Conversations around addiction can often be contentious, but there are some ways you can communicate more effectively with your loved one. This includes:
- Practising empathy (try to think about the feelings your loved one is sharing)
- Practising active listening (give your loved one your full attention)
- Trying not to pass judgement (practice acceptance)
Setting boundaries
Supporting a loved one with addiction can sometimes be draining. At this stage, it is important to establish mutually beneficial boundaries. There are ways to make sure you are looking after yourself and being supportive. Setting boundaries can look like:
- Not being available 24/7
- Taking time for yourself to recharge
- Accessing support or therapy for yourself
- Practising self-care
- Having rules about the use of substances or engagement with specific behaviours in your household
- Having an honesty policy
Setting boundaries can feel very difficult, but it can be a positive step towards modelling the type of professional support available in addiction rehab. It also shifts some attention to your personal wellbeing, which can sometimes be forgotten in these types of situations.
Professional support
This takes two forms. Knowing how to signpost your loved one to rehab when appropriate can be a very powerful tool. For this reason, it is useful to research the different types of rehab programmes available. However, you may also want to look into what support options are available for you during this stage. This could mean researching the following:
- Support groups
- Family therapy options
- Counselling
When supporting a loved one with addiction, you have to remember that help needs to flow in two directions – outwards, to your loved one, but also inwards, so you can continue to maintain your own wellbeing in order to move forward in as calm and measured a manner as possible.