If you attend rehab or regularly attend fellowship meetings, you are going to hear a lot of talk about the usual factors that prevent people making progress in recovery. It is vital that you are aware of these obstacles so that you can avoid them completely or overcome them. These common traps in recovery catch many people out, but there are also some behaviours that are equally dangerous but not talked about so much; it is important that you are aware of these too. Here are just some of the not so obvious factors that may be preventing you from making progress in recovery.
You have probably heard of celebrities and successful entrepreneurs who have talked about their problems with imposter syndrome. This happens when a person is achieving things in life but do not feel that they deserve this success. The feeling of unworthiness can be dangerous as it means the person can begin to undermine his or her own good work.
Not only famous people suffer from imposter syndrome; it can also happen with those who are trying to recover from an addiction. It can mean that you do not really feel you deserve to be sober, and this way of thinking can begin to affect your motivation and ability to make good decisions. The way to overcome imposter syndrome is to develop self-compassion so that you can realise that you are as entitled to a better life as anyone else.
Demand resistance is actually very common among those trying to break away from addiction, but it is just not talked about as much as it should. This refers to a situation in which the person has an automatic tendency to rebel against any demands put upon him or her. This tendency is said to arise in response to unrealistic expectations from parents in childhood. The young person realises they can never meet the demands of parents, so they learn to cope by rebelling against all demands. This tendency then becomes so ingrained that the person begins to rebel against all authority figures.
This tendency to always say ‘no’ to things can prevent you from making progress in recovery. It can also make it difficult to form deep relationships with other people because this tendency to always be resisting any suggestions may make you difficult to be around. The good news is that demand resistance is just a habit and it will be possible for you to overcome it.
If you take failure too personally then it can make it hard for you to achieve anything of real value in life. This is because failure is often a necessary part of the process of achieving anything significant in life. It is vital that you see these setbacks as an opportunity to grow and not as a sign that you are a bad person or a failure. All of the successful people throughout history have tasted plenty of failure along the way.
Being a modest person can be a good thing but, if you feel uncomfortable with compliments, it is probably a sign that you are dealing with low self-esteem, which is not such a good thing. Accepting compliments is not about getting a big head or being egotistical. It is better to see praise as a type of fuel that can give you the motivation to do more. Of course, you do want to avoid doing things just to receive compliments. It is also important to not worry too much about the sincerity of the person giving you this praise – it does not really matter what they really think, it is all about what you do with what they say.