If you are a person that has been living with an alcoholic partner for quite a long time, you have probably been through a lot of turmoil. Living with an addict is frustrating, heartbreaking and upsetting all at the same time. You may have experienced heartbreak watching the person you love struggling with this destructive illness while also feeling utterly frustrated at his or her refusal to accept help or even admit that the problem existed.
Now that he or she is sober and ready to get life back on track, it might be the case that he or she wants you to get rid of all alcohol from the house. However, you may be thinking why you have to give up alcohol just because your partner cannot drink anymore. Maybe you feel that you and your friends should still be able to have a glass of wine and so do not believe that your enjoyment should be affected.
Supporting a Partner in Recovery
If you really want to support your partners recovery, you will remove all alcohol from the home. If you cannot understand why you need to do this, or if you are unwilling to do so, it might be time to ask yourself why you feel this way.
It could be that you are afraid of what sobriety will actually mean for you and your family, and you are worried about change to your life. This could mean you are subconsciously sabotaging your spouses recovery without even realising. If you think about it, you would not want him or her to relapse, but a deep-rooted fear of what is going to happen could be driving your actions.
Reluctance to Move Forward
Over the years that your partner was struggling with alcoholism, you may have had a role that you resented at the time. It might have been your job to keep everything together, and you probably had to take on many of your partners responsibilities in the home. While it is likely that you felt bitter about this, you may now be unwilling to relinquish that role. As your partner is now sober, he or she may want to begin taking on more responsibility around the home, wanting to help where possible.
Your relationship is bound to change now that your partner is sober, so you need to accept this and work together to move forward. If you refuse to do this, it could cause negative consequences for both of you.
Another reason you may be reluctant to remove all alcohol from the home is because you do not want to make it easy for your partner. You may be of the opinion that you have suffered for a number of years and so might want to make your partner suffer by making his or her recovery harder. Nevertheless, by doing this, you are running the risk of him or her relapsing, which could have disastrous consequences for the whole family.
Do You Have a Problem Too?
If the thought of removing all alcohol from the home fills you with dread, you need to ask yourself if it is possible that you have a problem too. Over the years of living with an alcoholic, you may have started to rely on alcohol yourself without even realising. You might not have as severe an addiction as your partner did, but if you feel panicky at the thought of not being able to reach for a glass of wine whenever you want one, you need to examine your drinking habits and consider whether alcohol has become an issue for you too. If you do not have an issue with alcohol, you should have no problem getting rid of it from the home.